Monday, April 4, 2011

The Joke Has Come Upon Me!

Have you heard that Pixies song, Nimrod's son? It's a catchy song, really, especially if you like classic alternative. Remember the parts about, "You are the son of..."? If not, here's a recap...

One night upon my motorcycle through the desert spead
And smashed my body so that all my friends thought I was dead
My sister held me close and whispered to my bleeding head
"You are the son of a mother fucker"

One two three four

I shook all night and held her hand
Chocolate people well I'll be damned
Land of plenty, land of fun
To find out I'm Nimrod's son

Oh bury me
Far away please
Bury me

The joke has come upon me

In my motorcycle mirror I think about the life I've led
And how my soul's been aking all the holes where I have bled
My image spoke to me, yes to me and often said
"You are the son of incestuous union"

One two three

Now my head is clear
My luke hands washed
My daughter's pure
My son is tall
Land of plenty, land of fun
To find out I'm Nimrod's son

Oh bury me
Far away please
Bury me

Ha-ha Ha-ha
The joke has come upon me

My point is this: We have reason to believe that, literally one day before their scheduled separation, our dirty little incestuous chinchillas have quite possibly mated. Yes, Bob will have a son and brother...if Poofy is, in fact, expecting. She's sleeping on her side, which according to my son is a tell-tale sign. Bob is now Nimrod, in my book...or Naughty Nimrod. Anything but cute, sweet, little, innocent baby chinchilla Bob!

I'm totally panicking and disgusted and horrified - what kind of chinchilla owners can we be to have let this happen?! Where did I find that information that suggested it was this week that they should be separated, and can the authors be held responsible?! Oh, man. If she's not pregnant, I will never, ever, ever allow something like this to happen under our roof again! I suppose we should separate them anyway and just wait-&-see (after the ridiculously long 111-day pregnancy)...


....on the bright side, however, I must admit that I just realized that Poofy caught the bullet I dodged! (Stay with me here....)

One of my very good friends recently got pregnant. A week later, my very best friend announced that after a couple of months of trying, she is also expecting. *gulp* The next week, my husband cracked open two separate eggs on two consecutive mornings, each of which contained two yolks! Now I don't know about you, but old wives' tales suggest that this is a sure sign of twins, at the very least! So while it doesn't phase V, I'm sweatin' proverbial bullets!

But whew! I can deal with chinchilla babies, nevermind incest, considering that we don't want or need and certainly can't afford the money, time, and patience that another child demands. I sure did enjoy my pregnancies, though...

Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid.

~ Arabic Proverb

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